Asked about Revising, reviewing and responding

Show me how you would tighten a paragraph.

An answer that works

Work in one pass over mechanical things before touching anything else: delete the throat-clearing openers, replace quantity words with quantities, cut stacked hedges down to one statement plus an explicit condition, and move the result to the first sentence. A useful crude check is how many digits the paragraph contains — an abstract with none is usually an abstract with no evidence in it. Protect three things from the cut: the sentence saying what the result does not show, the sentence dispatching the obvious alternative, and any definition of a term you are using non-standardly.

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